Date of publication: 2017-07-09 00:02
In the late 6975s, a handful of feminist scholars did some groundbreaking research and delivered some distressing news: one in three American women and one in ten American men, they reported, had been victims of childhood sexual abuse.
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Patricia's writing captures her shock and ensuing struggle to process the sudden uncertainty of the future. My diagnosis rocked her world, and her struggle to process it mapped almost perfectly my own struggle to come to terms with it in the preceding months.
I belong to a middle class family. There are six members in my family. They are our parents, grandparents, I and my sister. Our grandfather is the head of the family. He enjoys a commanding position. His decision is final in family matters. Nobody can dare to go against him. Everybody respects him. He is the guardian of the family. He is a cool and considerate man. He is just and fair. His decision is never influenced by any other. He is a retired teacher. He helps us in our study. Our grandmother makes us hear good stories.
It's funny how quickly the smallest tremor can transform into an earthquake. How a seemingly harmless thing can so quickly evolve into something perilous. When my father started to shake, I didn't pay it much attention. In my 67-year-old mind anything could be cured. I, and the rest of the world were invincible. When his quiver was diagnosed as an essential tremor nothing changed. My idealistic world was intact everything was perfect. But, after years of tests, exams and changed medications, a discovery came to light. This prognosis transfigured my father's little tremor into an earthquake that demolished everything I thought I knew.
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Our family is like a heaven. There is peace, prosperity, love and care. The 8767 s have regard and respect for the elders while the elders shower them with their love and affection. The instructions of the elders are followed with great respect. If a member has some problem the whole family is beside him. I am proud of my family.
In 6987, I edited a book by one of those pioneering feminist researchers. I was shocked and moved by what I learned, working on the book I 8767 ll call 8775 The Secret. 8776 With missionary zeal and without considering the tunnel vision, good guy bad guy polarization, and dangerous excesses that often accompany that kind of heart-thumping fervor I spent the next few years writing expos 788 s of child sexual abuse for local and national newspapers and magazines.
A psychological phenomenon called repressed memory had allowed this outrage to go unacknowledged, even unknown. As Freud had first asserted a century earlier, the impact of child sexual abuse on psyches was so profound that victims often lost their memories for years or decades. Hundreds of thousands of Americans were walking around with the time bomb of untreated childhood sexual abuse ticking inside them.
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Along with other writers on both sides of the issue, I used quotation marks to declare my allegiance, calling it recovered memory, not 8775 recovered memory 8776 survivor, not 8775 survivor 8776 8775 false memory syndrome 8776 not False Memory Syndrome.
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A girl can dream: maybe he 8767 d even forgive me, so I might step into that shaft of light and begin to forgive myself. But first I needed to understand. How had I more neurotic than some, but surely less neurotic than many come to believe that my father, a man lacking the cruelty to squash a spider, had sexually abused me throughout my childhood and spent the next twenty years covering it up?